Tag Archives: peace

To Channel The Fight: Follow Up

The brothers eat gummies and pick late night movies to help keep Chase awake

The brothers eat gummies and pick late night movies to help keep Chase awake

Yesterday’s EEG -a test we were told would take 4-6 hours- lasted a full 8 hours.

This face. For an easily over-stimulated child, the wet/cold electrodes all over his head were very difficult at first.

This face. For an easily over-stimulated child, the wet/cold electrodes all over his head were very difficult at first.

For Chase, who was being video-monitored (in addition to the electrodes covering his head), this meant about a 2 foot range of motion on the bed…for 8 full hours.

Chase.  Being still.  For 8 hours.  Ha.

Sleeping peacefully. An answer to prayer as sleep is an important component of the test.

Sleeping peacefully. An answer to prayer as sleep is an important component of the test.

Actually, he did incredibly well considering the circumstances.  It was a grueling day for him and he managed it with a great attitude.

There are few things that a lollipop and coloring time won't make better...even a head full of electrodes. :)

There are few things that a lollipop and coloring time won’t make better…even a head full of electrodes. :)

We haven’t done this test since the initial days of his diagnosis – haven’t kept him up late into the night since two days before we found out he had a tumor and I was amazed how going through the ritual again brought back the memories of those sleep deprived, scared hours when we first felt the dread of some unknown thing being very wrong with our little boy.  And then the memories passed and we had a great sense of peace and even joy in the middle of the long night and day.

We hope to hear some results within the week and will be able to discuss a plan of action with the epilepsy specialist in early April.  Thank you for your prayers.

Moment by moment. 

 

Facing A Fear

Chase’s doctor once told us that most parents know it’s time for more chemo when they see their child looking better, eating more, and having more energy.  Proving this theory, Chase’s Thursday lab results were really encouraging which means we are scheduled to go back to the hospital on Monday.  It’s time.  This particular round of chemo includes several days of being admitted to the hospital as well as a spinal tap under anesthesia.

You may remember that I wrote at one time about Chase’s vivid anesthesia memories.  Since that time, we have had really good experiences because he has been given a “forgetting” medicine in pre=op -while still with us- that relaxes him and saves him the memory of a sterile operating room and a mask over his face all without the comfort of mom or dad.

Because of some aspects of his new central line, Chase’s nurse will be removing the needle from his chest a couple of hours before he is scheduled for the spinal tap.  It’s a little tragic as there will be no shower or swimming pool to jump in and celebrate [children with the type of central lines he’s had until now can’t really bathe or swim], but mostly awesome as he has never officially been without his “tubie”.  However, there is a direct impact on the procedure.  The lack of needle in his chest means that there is no good way to administer medicine in pre-op, which means that Chase will go into the operating room by himself and be put under anesthesia while fully concious.

We have been talking about it every day.  How he will be a brave boy, and how he will take a deep breath and fall asleep, and even how -if he can be still- the doctors won’t have to hold him while they put the mask on his face.  He dialogues with us, and understands what he needs to do, but he is still very frightened.

Please pray for Chase on Monday, that he would be anxious for nothing and that God’s perfect peace would surpass and even confound all of our understanding about how Chase would most likely respond in that operating room. (Philippians 4:6-7)

This will be a big step for him and for all of us…but our God is much bigger.

Learning to let go… Moment by moment.

Free From The Sting

photo-2

As a Christian, Easter is one of the most important times of my year. It’s the season I set aside to celebrate what Jesus did for me, but this year is more precious as I consider how the events of Easter fit into our cancer world.

I believe with all my heart that Jesus is the son of God, that the Bible is true, and that the promises it contains are real and this is why I so often include verses in my blog posts–to remind myself of what I know to be true when my circumstances are overwhelming (which they often are). In those moments, I literally have the physical sensation of drowning.  Believing as I do doesn’t change the pain of cancer or anything else in this life, but it can and does change how I face the drowning moments.

Often, like the thief on the cross next to Jesus–not the mocker, but the other–the weight of life and pain (some self-inflicted, some not) closes in and I cry out.  And then comes the reply,

“Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

That’s it! This is the answer to the agony. The pain and suffering is only a season, because death is swallowed up in Jesus’ glorious victory and its sting is gone. One day soon I will be with Jesus in Paradise!

Because I know God made me, and I will be in Heaven with Him forever when this weary life is over, I am freed from the drowning to feel joy in sorrow and peace in chaos. Death may be sad, but it need not sting because this life is not the end, but the beginning.

In the midst of this cancer world, there can be incredible, inexplicable peace because my ultimate struggle has already been resolved. My sin was taken care of on the cross by God Himself! All that happens in my life is what He lovingly allows for His pleasure and glory. Someday I will be complete and lacking in nothing and with Him forever in fullness of joy.

This is my cancer foundation. This is my life foundation.

Moment by moment.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelations 21:4

2012: In Our Own Words…

Christmas 2012

Looking back at all that has happened this last year, I asked everyone in my family to do a little summing up – Here is my family in their own words on 2012…

Karsten (1): [grunted and walked away]

Chase (3) [thinking he’s writing an e-mail to his hospital, which he’s never done and is unlikely to do anytime soon]: “The cancer is still running away from me because it wants to hurt me, but I am very brave. (breaks into song) God is near me, God is near me, all the time, all the time!”

Aidan (4): “I like when Christmas comes…and I like Uncle Trevor…and I get sad when Chasey hits me…but then we make it right and that makes me happy again…and Mom, when are you going to get out of my room?”

Darcy (6): “Some days I really want to go to my home and be back with my family when Mommy and Daddy don’t have to go to the hospital anymore and be on the phone with doctors all the time, but I’m very happy that I can be off school this week and that we can be together as a family.”

Bob: “If I could use one word to sum up this year, it would be ‘DIFFERENT‘. In many ways, I worked, traveled, wrote and read as in other years, yet this year was profoundly different with the cancer diagnosis. It’s ironic how the normal and the very abnormal go hand in hand.”

Ellie: I think if I also had to find one word, I’d choose ‘BLESSED‘. Never have I been so aware of all that I have and all the amazing people around me.

On that same subject, I’d like to take a moment to say thanks.  The simplicity of these words can’t possibly encompass what we feel, but on behalf of Chase and our entire family: thank you.  Some of you I know personally and some of you I may never meet, but I so wish that I could have the chance to sit down with each of you face-to-face and tell you how much all of the prayers, encouragement, gifts and service have meant to us. We are so blessed by you in ways you cannot even imagine. THANK YOU.

Truly He taught us to love one another; His law is love and His gospel is peace; chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother, and in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name;
Christ is the Lord, Oh, praise His name forever!
His powr and glory evermore proclaim!

Knowing The One who heals all and frees all is our true and constant comfort in this season and always.

Moment by moment…