My “corn popper” experience with Chase made me think about how often I assume that I have adequately passed on a social convention (such as “We don’t make incessant and loud noises in a room where an infant is sleeping“) when in reality, my children feel no such compulsion in regards to their behavior. In other words, they do things they really, really shouldn’t.
In honor of this, I have compiled a small list of my most recent “It Goes Without Saying” moments …
- It goes without saying that we don’t pop the corn popper into the room where the 6 week old is sleeping, right?
- It goes without saying that we don’t pick up the stick of butter thawing on the counter top and take a big bite out of it, right?
- …that we don’t take a bite out of somebody else’s deodorant, right? Come to think of it, don’t take a bite out of ANYBODY’S deodorant EVER, okay??
- …that we don’t try and take out the Christmas tree with a large library book. Oh, and this would be one of those “let’s skip it altogether” moments; much like the deodorant.
- …that we don’t climb the four-drawer file cabinet like a ladder.
- …that we don’t use your brother’s Excalibur sword to swipe the picture frames off the shelves over your head.
- …that you don’t eat crayons.
- …that you don’t eat crayons AGAIN.
- …that you don’t take your pants or your diaper off. Especially not at church.
- …that the large floor signs in department stores are not for line backer-style rushing. (Neither is the Christmas tree)
Wow. I said “small list”, so with this, I’ll stop.
In other news, I’m also calling a cease and desist because I just realized that every single item on this list has been performed by only ONE child.
It goes without saying that I’m signing off to get another cup of coffee …
Last week, I had to sneak into the room where Karsten was taking a nap. Even though the noise maker was running in the room, I told the other three children that I would be right back and that they were not to follow me into the room for obvious reasons.
While I was in the closet and in the process of hanging up some shirts [see also: hands occupied, unable to avert impending disaster], I heard the loud and cheerful sound of the “corn popper” being popped down the hallway towards the bedroom.
“He wouldn’t!”; thought the mother of four who was clearly in the throws of a major rookie mistake. Oh, Yes. He would. He could. And, he did.
Chase “corn popped” his way into the room and stood -with his thumb in his mouth and a blank look on his face- staring down at the sleeping Karsten in his bassinet. The hand that wasn’t in his mouth was idly pushing the popper back and forth on the floor with random “POP!” noises. …in case Karsten had missed it the first time.
Why didn’t I “shush” him and get him out before he got that far? Easy-peasy: Chase is a screamer (what should and probably will be the subject of another post). Knowing that the corn popper only may wake up Karsten and Chase’s screams of protest at being ushered from the room certainly would wake up Karsten, I was forced into one of my many daily “Which hill do I die on?” moments. Subsequently, Chase was forced into one of his many daily “Which side of the time-out chair do I want to sit on?” moments.
And this is the story of how Chase “corn popped” the baby awake.
Stay tuned for the second chapter in the tome known as “Chase Blows Up Social Conventions” called It Goes Without Saying … Right?