This winter, I wrote about my epic battle against the germs. I’m happy to report that they are (at least for now) GONE! [germs are trolls and I am winning!]
Just when I was beginning to picture peace breaking out and rest/relaxation on the maternal horizon, there has in the last couple weeks been a fast and furious attack on another front.
The “WAR OF THE 2 YEAR OLD BED GETTER OUTTER“.
This is a technical* term: see also “Somnus Relinquo” – literally “the abandoner of sleep” (thank you, Google!)
*technical in that I made it up right now and decided to call it technical.
Commence the wracking of brains:
Counselors have been employed…
Positive reinforcements have been offered…
Negative reinforcements have on occasion been instituted…
Back to the Bed Getter Outer … alias: Aidan Russell Gray Ewoldt, age 2 …
Overall, there has been mild progress made on the parental front at large, but this last week there were significant set backs due to advancement in the opposition’s technology.
There was the strategic battle of “Get Out of Bed and Climb The Bookshelf” – the terrain being six feet tall and only 12 inches wide, this was a particular blow to the circulatory system (heart region especially) of the maternal forces. An immediate extrication was instituted.
There was also the day of the “Early Surprise Attack with Hostages” – in which the civil defense system (otherwise known as his 5 year old sister over the baby monitor) went off at 6:15 AM with the news that the enemy had not only abandoned camp, but had stormed the fortress across the room. (also known as baby brother’s crib) He had somehow passed the alligator-infested moat (or, yesterday’s toys with pointed edges that hadn’t gotten cleaned up and still lay on the floor) and had taken the bed …er, castle itself. However, he had made the strategic error of being unable to exit the castle once inside. This knowledge proved fatal to his morale and he opted to wage hard and fast war on the inhabitants (his one year old brother) during his incarceration.
He was duly captured and questioned, maintaining that since he had been in A bed (though not his own), he was innocent of all accused crimes.
As of today, I’m … wait … what was that? [shouts from the other room] … he’s WHERE?! … I’ll be right there!!
More later …