Today

Today, I walked into a huge medical facility bay and stared down a gigantic white truck structure.  The MRI.   

Today, I watched my loving husband carry my darling son up into the structure as he spoke calmly and quietly, and Chase, red-faced and teary, clung to him and cried that he couldn’t…just couldn’t…do this right now.

Today, I stood in the bay as only one parent could go inside with Chase, and my heart ripped just a tiny bit at the sound of his screams and then it was silent but for the pounding of the machine.  And I would learn later that though he screamed in the room, the minute the scan started, he became peaceful and still and stayed still for the whole test.

Today, as I held my breath and prayed for Chase in the sound of the machine, a man came up and introduced himself – the husband of a beloved proton radiation nurse who had cared for Chase nearly two years prior – what a small, beautiful world it is some days.

Today, I watched Chun, the camera man (because yes, we have a camera crew here with us now – so much more on that some day soon) peer around the corner of the machine and flash me the “thumbs up” – Chase was okay and he was done.  He did it!

Today, Chase descended out of the gigantic white structure, held his arms out to me and shouted “Mom!  You came back to me!  I did it and I was SO brave!!”

Today, we – Bob, Chase, the camera crew, a friend from the hospital, and me – we all waited in quiet anticipation to talk to the neurosurgeon.

Today, we all stood in the small exam room to hear that the growths, though changed and grown a little more, are considered stable.

Today, we talked of movies, and keeping up with small children and their energy as Chase went through the paces of touching his nose and myriad of other normal things that may not always come easily to him and Dr. Alden knows this and watches out for him.

Today, we heard that we get to wait to look again until January and enjoy our holidays and that we don’t need to think about biopsies or treatments right now.

Today, we heard that January is most certainly a necessity and that at least one of the growing places on the MRI is still a concern.

Today, we talked about nobody having all the answers and how frustrating it is when we ask and the doctors long to reassure with decades of concrete research and can’t.

Today, we were reminded that if we see any, absolutely any changes in Chase, we need to report them immediately.

Today, we chafed against the wait again and found our spirits wanting.

Today, we were given the day, and we’ll take it…

…moment by moment.

“We were made to run through fields of forever, singing songs to our Savior and King.
So let us remember this life we’re living is just the beginning of this glorious unfolding.
We will watch and see and we will be amazed if we just keep on believing the story is so far from over and hold on to every promise God has made to us…
We’ll see the glorious unfolding.”

Steven Curtis Chapman

Waiting for the neurosurgeon and mildly questioning Dad's ability to assemble a Transformer...

Waiting for the neurosurgeon and mildly questioning Dad’s ability to assemble a Transformer…

5 responses to “Today

  1. You never cease to make me cry. So grateful for answered prayer today … for Chase’s peace and stillness during the MRI, and grateful you can have this behind you for the holidays. And … always, always praying.

    Love to you and your beautiful family.
    Heidi

  2. GOD Bless Chase what a brave little man, your strong faith is a life saver ,how wonderful that Chase believes in himself & so pleased he did what he had to do, to get through today. MERRY MERRY CHRISTmas, to a most deserving family. The Best of 2015 to all. GOD IS GREAT, GOD IS GOOD. Love, Jolene

  3. no words, I am without words. the emotions we feel secondhand overwhelm us, and I just now know what real compassion is.

  4. So happy to hear the word “stable”. A very familiar word as you know as our Kathryn has gotten that label for a long time and it makes me pray that stable is a re-occurring word for Chase as well.
    Love you all,
    Trish

  5. Your family is so dear and shows all of us what the Lord’s Grace can do for those who embrace it. Enjoy this Christmas and every little blessing… I know you will.

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