Facing A Fear

Chase’s doctor once told us that most parents know it’s time for more chemo when they see their child looking better, eating more, and having more energy.  Proving this theory, Chase’s Thursday lab results were really encouraging which means we are scheduled to go back to the hospital on Monday.  It’s time.  This particular round of chemo includes several days of being admitted to the hospital as well as a spinal tap under anesthesia.

You may remember that I wrote at one time about Chase’s vivid anesthesia memories.  Since that time, we have had really good experiences because he has been given a “forgetting” medicine in pre=op -while still with us- that relaxes him and saves him the memory of a sterile operating room and a mask over his face all without the comfort of mom or dad.

Because of some aspects of his new central line, Chase’s nurse will be removing the needle from his chest a couple of hours before he is scheduled for the spinal tap.  It’s a little tragic as there will be no shower or swimming pool to jump in and celebrate [children with the type of central lines he’s had until now can’t really bathe or swim], but mostly awesome as he has never officially been without his “tubie”.  However, there is a direct impact on the procedure.  The lack of needle in his chest means that there is no good way to administer medicine in pre-op, which means that Chase will go into the operating room by himself and be put under anesthesia while fully concious.

We have been talking about it every day.  How he will be a brave boy, and how he will take a deep breath and fall asleep, and even how -if he can be still- the doctors won’t have to hold him while they put the mask on his face.  He dialogues with us, and understands what he needs to do, but he is still very frightened.

Please pray for Chase on Monday, that he would be anxious for nothing and that God’s perfect peace would surpass and even confound all of our understanding about how Chase would most likely respond in that operating room. (Philippians 4:6-7)

This will be a big step for him and for all of us…but our God is much bigger.

Learning to let go… Moment by moment.

5 responses to “Facing A Fear

  1. May 11
    The constant challenges you face make my heart hurt for you. I see you trust the Lord, and i know you want to honor Him. Your faith in the middle of chaos and hurt is a testimony to us all.

    But on another note, (as a nurse) — why can’t they give Chase some liquid oral med to start the sedating process before he has to face that scary OR alone? They exist — but perhaps not in children’s doses? It’s worth an ask of your healthcare team.

    with love,

  2. My prayers are with Chase and all of you on Monday.

  3. We will be praying from Texas.

  4. We’ve been praying for all of you for some time now, and aren’t about to stop. I know you’d both much rather be the patient than the parent, but that’s not the role you get to play tomorrow. May God be your refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

  5. Hi: as always he and you are in my prayers. Is asking for a miracle healing too much in Jesus name? I don’t think so, Jesus likes BIG prayers, so I am awaiting Chases being perfect whole and complete. in Jesus’ name again. I believe. love, maralee

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