What do you do when the thing you most feared is suddenly your reality?
Today we got the results of the pathology report, and it doesn’t look good. Chase has an atypical teratoid/rhabdoid tumor (AT/RT), which is a very rare kind of cancer (rare = about 30 new cases per year). Did we really think that Chase was anything other than rare?
The neurosurgeon noticed, on Chase’s original MRI scan, that there was some light-colored shading on his spinal column, which has now been interpreted as the tumor spreading.
It seems like the most likely course of action will be a 51-54 week regiment of chemotherapy and radiation, during which time he will have a treatment every 3 or so weeks in the hospital.
This is hard news to try to process. Am I ready to watch my child go through this? Do I trust that God is sovereign, even over an aggressive malignant tumor? The words (and melody) of a song by Mark Altrogge has been going through my mind today:
Whatever my God ordains is right
In His love I am abiding
I will be still in all He does
And follow where He is guiding
He is my God, though dark my road
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all.
Here’s a clip of the song with this verse:
What this looks like, only God knows, but what we do know is that God IS sovereign, and while the tumor is a tragic physical manifestation of the fallenness of mankind, the child is a beautiful manifestation of the image of God, and in this child we have joy.