My “corn popper” experience with Chase made me think about how often I assume that I have adequately passed on a social convention (such as “We don’t make incessant and loud noises in a room where an infant is sleeping“) when in reality, my children feel no such compulsion in regards to their behavior. In other words, they do things they really, really shouldn’t.
- It goes without saying that we don’t pop the corn popper into the room where the 6 week old is sleeping, right?
- It goes without saying that we don’t pick up the stick of butter thawing on the counter top and take a big bite out of it, right?
- …that we don’t take a bite out of somebody else’s deodorant, right? Come to think of it, don’t take a bite out of ANYBODY’S deodorant EVER, okay??
- …that we don’t try and take out the Christmas tree with a large library book. Oh, and this would be one of those “let’s skip it altogether” moments; much like the deodorant.
- …that we don’t climb the four-drawer file cabinet like a ladder.
- …that we don’t use your brother’s Excalibur sword to swipe the picture frames off the shelves over your head.
- …that you don’t eat crayons.
- …that you don’t eat crayons AGAIN.
- …that you don’t take your pants or your diaper off. Especially not at church.
- …that the large floor signs in department stores are not for line backer-style rushing. (Neither is the Christmas tree)
In other news, I’m also calling a cease and desist because I just realized that every single item on this list has been performed by only ONE child.
It goes without saying that I’m signing off to get another cup of coffee …